no shade @ anyone but i pray to god that i’m not on tumblr.com in my late 20s/early 30s but instead my career is peaking i’m making bank i got a nice house and i got somebody waiting at home for me god damn it
Remember, kids, when you hit 30, you have to give up all of your hobbies. That peaking career and nice house and romantic partner mean you will have zero time to get online and dick around looking at cat gifs.
Damn, apart from the regular fail in this post, how sad are you going to be if your career peaks in your early 30s?
That is because this child sees 30 as the end of the world. 30 is decrepit, don’t you know?
angryonabus like. there are so many white dudes with white beards from the generic white dude warehouse vintage section, they’re all awful, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL ONE FROM ANOTHER
and this is me MARATHONING game of thrones (just finished 3x04). how am i meant to remember which dude is which with a week or a season between episodes
anyway EVERY SINGLE LADY CAN STAY. brienne. arya. margaery. margaery’s grandma. sansa, even if i can never figure sansa out. danaerys. catelyn. yara. the red woman even though she’s creepy as fuck. roz. shae. ygritte. missandei (first black girl with an actual speaking part?????). osha. cersei even though she is very very evil. THEY CAN ALL STAY. EVEN IF THEY DIE THEY CAN STAY.
of the dudes, tyrion can stay. jon and sam can stay because they’re so sweet and dumb. varys can stay. otherwise ALL MEN MUST DIE and i’m not crying about it tbh.
(all men must die. but we are not men. *mic drop*)
CRYING with laughter at “the generic white dude warehouse vintage section”. BASICALLY. I had such a hard time keeping them apart - the first two seasons were basically me pausing every 10 minutes to ask J who somebody was. And then you factor in my general inability to map names onto faces, and it was just 100% “is that the stupid one / the horrible one / the one who’s fucking his sister?” (to which the answer was always and forever, “you’re going to need to be a little more specific, honey”).
But YESSSS the ladies. THE LADIES THE LADIES. Such quality ladies!
Anonymous said: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material
Scarlett Johansson for the Huffington Post [x]
More of her brilliant articles can be found here.
parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”
me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”
my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”
this never changes no matter how old you are
and they complain that we’re bad at communicating!