Junot Diaz - Moyers & Company Show 151: Rewriting the Story of America (via kenobi-wan-obi)
the only reason steve’s kids arent gonna call sam ‘uncle sam’ is because steve’s kids are going to call sam ‘daddy’
The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven’s Ninth. In the piece, there’s a long passage about 20 minutes during which the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession (as double bassists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. “Hey! We need to get back!”
"No need to panic," said a fellow bassist.
"I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor’s score together with string. It’ll take him a few minutes to get it untangled."
A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.
"Well, of course," said her companion. "Don’t you see?
It’s the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”
theories on why my uterus launches a personal attack on me every month
- i never read it bedtime stories
- most of the time when i talk about it i refer to it in a very hostile manner and it might have overheard
- i have never named it
- it was as traumatized as i was by puberty and this is its way of coping
- it thinks i’m a piece of shit who deserves to suffer
tales from weddingplanningsville, pt. whateverty-two
most recent wedding stress dream: we did some kind of ring-warming business that required the rings to be tied on a loop of ribbon, so obviously we tied them VERY SECURELY INDEED, because who wants to lose wedding rings? only then when the time came we could not untie them, and had to cut the ribbon using scissors, which was a ~~BAD OMEN~~ and then rocks fell and everybody died.
…so my brother’s just going to hold on to the rings I think.
jamwingles said: name: mariiiiiiiie Nickname: that's not actually how it's pronounced. MY DEAREST h0r. Age: MARRIAGEABLE Gender: classiest lady Nationality: red white and blue Relationship status: NEARLY MARRIED Likes: kittens, wine, polyfic, french, educating children, books Dislikes: people who are wrong on the internet, and in real life, traffic, upstairs neighbors who have their own washing machine but hog the communal one Random fact: remember that one time you are nerds out of my bra? I think it was nerds.
TRUE FACTS: I almost put that same random fact for yours! that was a very nice bra.
(also, does anybody else get the impression that Allison is excited for me to get married? because wow. down, girl.)